Weblog

Friday, 24 July 2009


  • MusicPlaylist
    MySpace Music Playlist at MixPod.com



    I wish I could talk to someone about this.
    But it's nothing new.
    Just old news that wont seem to ever go away.
    And there's absolutely nothing I can do to fix it now.
    I was crying all damn day over losing someone who couldn't give a fuck.
    If only I could control my dreams so I wouldn't be reminded every night.
    This is getting more and more pathetic.
    I want it to stop.
    Ugh.









    But I still miss him.
















    //edit: last august
    I don't know why I do the things I do. I always tell myself little things like, "I'm going to regret this," or "I shouldn't respond," yet I do them anyway. I want to know what will happen, I don't want to play it safe anymore. But things would work out better if I did. Because of my stupid decision, my best friend and I hardly even talk or see each other. And I miss him.

    Currently
    Littlest Things
    By Lily Allen
    see related

Tuesday, 16 December 2008


  • me, angel and cheryl [march 07]

    alex is really good at that game [march 07]

    lol jose

    the 9 people who passed their spanish quiz [feb 07] lol

    me doing what mike does.. lol

    :)

    EDWARD!

    best friends >.<

    Jose would always visit me at school :)

    Cheryl never goes to dances lol

    cutest little sister [jan 07]

    I love art projects [dec 06]

    we both happened to have on our painting pants. :p

    see the girl in the middle? thats my twin :]

    cheryl trying to see what she can put in my belly button... lol

    painted the yoga studio. that's my room at my dads. notice the black walls and jasmine/rahjah bedding lol :> and xerox!

    back when sam and i actually hung out... >>:[ miss that. we had a snow day that day. :) [dec 1 06]

    movie date with alex! [nov 06]

    i didn't like my stepdad. lol

    i remember a day when my cousin didn't hate me... [oct 06]

    i'm a loser. lol

    I did megan's makeup in art class. lol :]

    sadly enough, my answer WAS right. my reasoning was just off. lol [i think it's clear what i wrote. lol]

    AWW cheryl

    DOUG!!! :] " I hate when you go to the store and see all those black people there!" - doug. i miss 10th grade spanish with edward and doug. D:

    RARE [sept 06]

    ponchos only cover so much lol [went on a walk with my cousins]

    cheryl and her new job >>:[ [sept 06]

    robby worked there too! :]

    i only accept smiles in my pictures. :]

    you know those butt sparkles on this? i did 'em. lol

    what we did in art class :p

    ;)


    :)

    max and zuri's hedgehog lol [aug 06]


    posin. :]

    we had fun lol


    they took these down. wonder why.. lol [at stepping stones montessori]

    best friends, in arizona :D [aug 06]

    ^____^

    i always end up on my cousin jamie's shoulders lol


    KAI!!!! i made him mexican. lol and jamie.

    im good at golf ;) one of the few card games i can win lol [july 06]

    hung out with leah once... lol it was fun, went camping. :] that water was fucking FREEZING tho. :] [july 06]

    i guess we had long nose hair? lol i love my cousins

    max was the CUTEST. :>

    AWWW WALTER lol [june 06]

    kissing booth!

    not easy :<

    sam on my front lawn. :]

    DRIVE-IN WITH MY COUSINS! :D

    end of 9th grade [and cameron! lol]

    BRAXTON always takin my camera [may 06]

    jose!! before he left city. :]

    doug wearin my shoes. lol

    KEVIN :D hugs everyday for almost 3 years... lol [senior]

    i was kind of social then. old city! :D

    nico :> [forensics]

    my cousins in arizona, we went bowling. lol i like the different expressions.

    samantha braided my hair. i think it looks cute. lol :) [jan 06]

    new years eve! with my cousins in my room. [dec 05]

    girl scouts! [dec 05]

    remember having classes in central?

    GYM CLASS! lol damn 9th grade was a long time ago. adam had like 0% body fat. he was awesome. [a senior]

    gym was actually fun sometimes.

    <3

Monday, 15 December 2008

  • It hurts to know that I'm the only reason I still feel like this. I don't know why I was so dumb. :/ I don't know why I couldn't blame myself until it was too late.

    I shouldn't have a boyfriend. I'm not a good girlfriend.
    1. I gave in.
    2. I lied.
    3. I told the truth. >.<
    4. I put up with it.
    5. I didn't care.
    ...so I'm done. Not forever, just for now.



    { i miss feeling like i meant something to you }




    I never want to write when I'm happy. How lame. Doesn't matter, though. I'll get over it eventually. Sure, it doesn't feel like it but.. I don't know. Baby steps. Like not being in a relationship. And not being jealous. And not thinking about things too much. And keeping my feelings to myself so no one gets hurt. I'll be happy on my own. How it's supposed to be.


Monday, 11 August 2008

  • I don't know why I do the things I do. I always tell myself little things like, "I'm going to regret this," or "I shouldn't respond," yet I do them anyway. I want to know what will happen, I don't want to play it safe anymore. But things would work out better if I did. Because of my stupid decision, my best friend and I hardly even talk or see each other. And I miss him. Any guys I'm interested in are off limits, too young, too close to my exes, whatever. My current relationship hasn't even been going smoothly, and it's only been a month. I wish I could say I can't wait until school starts, but I can. :/

    So, I can't tell my Mom anything anymore. She takes things too seriously and jumps to conclusions. I'm not going to get myself into a situation I can't get myself out of, and I'm not completely ignorant when it comes to other people. I may choose to ignore things, but that doesn't mean I don't notice. She's progressively getting more judgmental with my boyfriends and it's annoying. She can keep it to herself because all it'll do is make me either feel badly or mad, it wont change anything.

    Did anyone notice how well you can hear the saliva in the girl's mouth in the Lipozene commercial? Ew.

    Currently Watching
    Ghost Ship (Widescreen Edition)
    By Gabriel Byrne, Ron Eldard, Julianna Margulies, Isaiah Washington, Emily Browning
    see related

Saturday, 14 June 2008

Top Tags - Weblog

[no tags]

Xeni

  • Visit Xeni's Xanga Site
    • Name: Xeni
    • Country: United States
    • State: Michigan
    • Metro: Grand Rapids
    • Birthday: 2/21/1991
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/17/2004

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.

About Me

  • http://www.beDistracted.com

Pulse

Xeni has no pulse!...

Recommended

[no recommendations]

Chatboard (1)